24

I always have my work. It was a refuge where he could escape the longings for Eva from within the thicket of confusions, never knowing where he was, if a breakthrough had just happened, or if she was about to sever everything in the next instant. He had taken on three new clients in as many weeks when one would have been sane. He didn’t tell her about the extra hours he was putting in and pretended it was all business as usual. With the extra money, he could elevate their experience, pay for more outings, getaways, the jewel of which would be a trip to Scotland or Italy or wherever she most wanted to go.
Things got rough the weekend following Rupert’s birthday party. In addition to the extra upfront load, there were the typical challenges that arose from the new strategies he implemented, and he had to work to soothe a green client from bailing out before the strategy had a chance to take flight. All three of the new clients were simultaneously unhappy, and Spencer felt like he was stumbling through a thick jungle, hunted. He didn’t want Eva to see him that way, vulnerable, weakened, in need of support or comfort. This would burden her and destroy the threads holding them together. Instead, he wanted to show her, and himself, how he was a good partner, reliable, and able to support and protect her, unlike Martin who had seemingly abandoned her emotionally when things got rough after the plane crash. A man was supposed to handle work stress on his own and not make it a problem for loved ones who were dealing with their own challenges and needed his support. Love is an action. He lay awake at night, churning through client challenges and invariably got up and went to his desk to stay ahead of the beast.
Before turning off his phone one night, he texted:

I am grateful for our continued deepening understanding of each other. It’s fascinating to have the experience of getting to know an intimate partner and friend at our age. There is so much there. I love our honesty of how we feel, what matters, and our openness to connect. It’s special being with you which is many levels up from “nice”😂Truly.

She texted back at 7:23 AM.

Hey, good morning! Thanks for sharing this. 😘 I also appreciate how we communicate and how that has allowed us to connect so much better. I’m grateful for your openness and lack of defensiveness – I think that’s played a big part in our, or certainly my, willingness to be open with challenging feelings and expressing needs. It’s nice that it carries over into the bedroom as well.😉

Every wink of sleep he’d missed and every stressful hurdle, were worth the price for that text.

They were set to leave for their two-night Airbnb getaway at Cultus Lake early Tuesday morning. It would be a needed break. He would bring his laptop with him as usual to attend to anything that might come up. She invited him for a swim at Kits pool on Monday morning. He couldn’t say no to the prospect of the cool water washing away his work pressures. And seeing her was irresistible.

From the slow-pokes’ paddling area, he watched her surge by, crawling, a shimmering wake trailing behind her lovely, undulating body. He tried to crawl and, as always, had trouble with the breathing, he’d never mastered the technique. He stuck to a slow breaststroke. After twenty minutes she had got out and was sitting on her towel, drinking from her water bottle. Don’t be in a rush to join her, he told himself, like an excited puppy. He did another length, pretending he hadn’t noticed her and then approached casually down the pool deck. “Hey,” he said casually, which was all crap, there was no casual anything inside him. Rather, a horrid mix of work stress, neediness, and fatigue, all of which could be antidoted by something he felt she had, if she would give it. They chatted about the pool temperature and the upcoming weather for the road trip kicking off in the morning.

They also talked about her planned week away later that month, at the cottage she rented up at Whistler to spend time with June. It was the neighbouring cottage to Rupert and Jasmine’s place, and they would be up there too. June was only able to make it for a couple of days, so the plan was for Spencer to come up for the last two nights after she had gone.

“What dates did you want me to visit you at the cottage? he asked.

“End of the week, 24th, and then we can drive back together.”

“Okay, cool. I’m thinking I might cycle part of the way, but you’d have to pick me up somewhere, I can’t make it the whole way.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”